hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
