ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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