I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize