my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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