you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
