I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
