just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
