I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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