wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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