this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
