So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
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I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
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The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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