i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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