I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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