Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize