that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize