using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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