I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
