i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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