If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
