The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
