I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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