There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?