girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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