Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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