I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
