last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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