Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize