I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize