I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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