Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
