Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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