This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
