my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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