Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
