Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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