Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Is it because I queefed?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
