WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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