On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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