GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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