I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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