I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize