how can u be prego again
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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