He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
