We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
