She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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