420 ftw
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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