Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
