he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
