just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize