definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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