We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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