I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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