I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
