Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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