If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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