just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
