I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
