I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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